This is a post for parents to send to their struggling college kiddo.

Life throws punches. Sometimes it feels like you’re in the ring with a heavyweight and forgot to put your gloves on. The trick isn’t dodging every hit—it’s knowing where to put your energy, making small, compounding moves, and surrounding yourself with the right people.

What’s in my control? What’s just noise? It’s actually a more profound and actionable question than you realize. Whether you’re grinding through a semester, fixing a broken relationship, or trying to level up in life. So let’s break it down.

What’s In My Control vs. What’s Not?

You don’t control professors. You don’t control your feelings. You don’t control the past. But you do control your choices and your effort. Focus there. Everything else? Let it go like the weather. Energy spent focusing on things outside your control is energy wasted.

What Actually Matters?

Once you strip away the distractions, ask yourself:

• What’s urgent and important? Do that first.
• What’s important but not urgent? Plan for it.
• What’s unimportant and not urgent? Delete. Unsubscribe. Say no.

Your time is your most valuable asset—invest and protect it like the limited resource it is.

How Do I Take Back Control?

When you’re struggling, every choice moves you closer to or further from the person you want to be. There’s no neutral. The trick? Improve your situation by just 10% today. Not 100%. Not a complete overhaul. Just 10%.

• Feeling stuck? Make one call, send one email, take one step.
• Feeling lost? Read one page, write one thought, get outside for five minutes.
• Feeling overwhelmed? Cut one obligation, clear one task, say no to one thing.

That’s how momentum starts. Move from 0 to 1. Not 1 to 9. 

Who’s in My Circle?

You become the people you surround yourself with. That’s not just some Instagram wisdom—it’s neuroscience. So ask yourself:

Who are five people (real or fictional) that represent who I want to be?

They don’t all have to be alive. Hell, they don’t even have to be real. But they need to embody the mindset, grit, and values you want. Study them. Channel them. If your current circle isn’t pulling you forward, it’s holding you back.

Final Thought

You don’t have to fix everything overnight. You just have to move 10% closer to the life you want today. Then do it again tomorrow.

Small, smart moves stack up. That’s how you win.