Parental Alienation (PA), Parental Alienation Syndromw (PAS), or Hostile Aggressive Parenting

A constellation of behaviors by parents or caregivers that may impact children’s mental and emotional well-being, and can interfere with a relationship of a child and either parent. These behaviors most often accompany high conflict marriages, separation or divorce.

Both verbal or non-verbal behaviors can intentionally or unintentionally cause a child to be mentally manipulated or bullied into believing a parent is the cause of all their problems, and/or the enemy, to be feared, hated, disrespected and/or avoided.

PA behaviors deprive children of their right to be loved by and showing love for both parents. The destructive actions by an alienating parent or other third person (like another family member, or even a well meaning mental health clinician) can become abusive to the child – as the alienating behaviors are disturbing, confusing and often frightening, to the child, and can disenfranchise children of their sense of security and safety leading to maladaptive emotional or psychological coping skills.
 

Here is the formal definition as stated by Dr. Richard Gardner who was one of the original proponents of defining and fighting PAS

The Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) is a disorder that arises primarily in the context of child-custody disputes. Its primary manifestation is the child’s campaign of denigration against a parent, a campaign that has no justification. It results from the combination of a programming (brainwashing) of a parent’s indoctrinations and the child’s own contributions to the vilification of the targeted parent.

Here’s what we typically see the child exhibiting

1. The child denigrates the alienated parent with foul language and severe oppositional behavior.
2. The child offers weak, absurd, or frivolous reasons for his or her anger.
3. The child is sure of himself or herself and doesn’t demonstrate ambivalence, i.e. love and hate for the alienated parent, only hate.
4. The child exhorts that he or she alone came up with ideas of denigration. The “independent-thinker” phenomenon is where the child asserts that no one told him to do this.
5. The child supports and feels a need to protect the alienating parent.
6. The child does not demonstrate guilt over cruelty towards the alienated parent.
7. The child uses borrowed scenarios, or vividly describes situations that he or she could not have experienced.
8. Animosity is spread to the friends and/or extended family of the alienated parent.

What to do if you think PAS is impacting your family

Educate Yourself