If you spent your Sunday nights a few years ago glued to HBO’s Succession, you probably watched the Roy siblings tear each other apart and thought, “Thank God my family isn’t like that.” But if you are an high achieving parent running a family business or managing a family office, you might recognize a quieter, far more common version of that dysfunction playing out right now. Instead of screaming matches in helicopters (or dead waitstaff), it looks like a 21-year-old college junior who won’t get out of bed. It looks like unreturned texts, academic probation, and a pervasive, heavy cloud of anxiety and depression. Failure. To. Launch.
You’ve built a legacy. You’ve created generational wealth. And the plan has always been for your child to step into the fold. But right now, you’re looking at a young adult who lacks the motivation to pass Intro to Econ, let alone manage a multi-million-dollar portfolio, negotiate commercial leases, or uphold fiduciary duties.
As I’ve discussed frequently on The Better Semester podcast and in my Psychology Today Campus Crunch column, the intersection of mental health and extreme wealth is a precarious crossroads. Here is the blunt reality: You cannot hand the keys of a complex financial vehicle to a young adult with unmanaged clinical depression, anxiety, and compromised executive functioning. Doing so isn’t a shortcut to their success; it’s a fast track to their ruin and the unraveling of your life’s work.
Here is a breakdown of what you are actually up against, and how you can help them prepare without falling into the enabler trap.
The Real-World Stakes: Financial, Legal, and Personal
When a young adult with untreated anxiety or depression is forced—or passively floats—into a family business, the fallout is rarely contained to family dinners.
- The Financial and Legal Liabilities: I have seen plenty of real-life cases where the “next generation” causes catastrophic damage. Think of the heirs in the Gucci family whose infighting and mismanagement diluted the brand, or the countless unnamed family offices that quietly hemorrhage millions because an heir made impulsive, anxiety-driven investments. A depressed employee in a normal job might get fired; a depressed heir in a family office with signatory power can breach fiduciary duties, trigger lawsuits from non-family stakeholders, and squander decades of compounding wealth.
- The Psychological Toll: Imagine suffering from severe imposter syndrome, knowing your wealth removes the friction of basic survival, and feeling like you haven’t actually earned anything. For a young adult already struggling with depression, being handed a high-level title in the family business feels like a fraud. It exacerbates their anxiety because they know they aren’t equipped, and it kills their motivation because the safety net is completely visible.
- The Relational Blur: Thanksgiving dinner becomes a board meeting. You stop being “Mom” or “Dad” and become the CEO evaluating their performance. When you are the one signing their paycheck and paying for their therapy, the power dynamic becomes toxic. Roles are blurred by lack of boundaries.
The Playbook: How to Prepare Them (Without Enabling Them)
If your student is struggling right now, you need to hit pause on the succession plan and focus on the immediate reality. Here is how you shift from being their CEO to being their consultant.
1. Treat the Biology Before the Business
If you’ve read nearly anything of mine before, I illuminate the unavoidable truth that we are our brains (aka – Biology). When motivation tanks, wealthy parents often try to fix it with executive coaching, networking introductions, or promises of a lucrative vice-presidency upon graduation. Stop. You cannot solve a biology problem with a business solution.
If they are anxious and depressed, check their baselines. Are they sleeping? Are they eating? Are they self-medicating with weed or alcohol? Do they have any sense of purpose? Before they can analyze a cap table, they need to prove they can wake up at 8:00 AM consistently. Decouple their mental health treatment from their future career. Their job right now is getting their brain chemistry and physical health stabilized.
2. Institute the “Outside Experience” Rule
One of the most destructive things you can do for a depressed, unmotivated college student is give them a soft landing in the family business right after graduation. They need to build distress tolerance, and they cannot do that if their boss is their father.
Require them to work outside the family enterprise for at least three to five years. I know – this seems nuts but hear me out. Let them go through a real interview process. Let them deal with a difficult manager. Let them experience the natural consequences of showing up late or missing a deadline—up to and including getting fired. They must learn that their actions have professional consequences in an environment where their last name offers no protection.
3. Formalize the Path to Entry
Anxiety thrives in ambiguity. If the path to entering the family office is just a vague promise of “someday this will all be yours,” your student will either paralyze themselves with worry or check out entirely.
Would you buy land, go through a M+A, or sell an asset without a contract? Hell no. The reason? It’s not about morals or ethics – it’s actually a biopsychological reason. Humans need boundaries and oversight whether in business or relationships. Gray area (ambiguity) provides fertile ground for our hedonistic impulses to dominate behavior.
Create clear, legally-binding, and objective criteria for joining the family business. Work with your board of directors or external advisors to draft a family employment policy. This might include:
- A requirement for a specific degree or GPA.
- The mandatory outside work experience mentioned above.
- A formal application and interview process evaluated by non-family executives.
This removes you from the “bad guy” role. You aren’t denying them a job because you’re mad at them; the independent board is enforcing the agreed-upon corporate governance.
4. Validate the Heavy Burden of Legacy
Finally, have an honest conversation about the weight of it all. Empathize with the fact that inheriting a legacy is stressful. Ask them: “Do you actually want to do this, or do you feel obligated?” Give them the psychological permission to say no. Some of the most successful family wealth transitions happen when the next generation is allowed to become responsible stewards and shareholders, rather than active operators. They can sit on a board or manage the family’s philanthropic arm while hiring competent professionals to run the day-to-day operations.
The Bottom Line
Preparing a struggling college student for the family office means stepping back so they can step up. You cannot buy their resilience, and you cannot outsource their distress tolerance. Hold your boundaries, demand external accountability, and trust that the friction they face today is the exact friction required to forge a competent leader tomorrow.