Finally! Winter break is just days away and all the streets are emptying of kids with backpacks on e-scooters.

I can drive from my downtown office without fear of hitting a swerving undergrad racing through traffic late for class. It also means my weeks open up and I have time to reflect on not only this past semester and the clients and families I served but also the year as a whole. My wife and I actually have a yearly meeting around this time to discuss our work and life goals and how well we met them over this year. This meeting lets us take a deep breath and savor our big wins while conducting a post-mortem on the big losses and how to recalibrate for next year.
As I’m wrapping up with all the students and their parents, I’m also facilitating a review of their lives over this past year with specific attention on mental health, academics, finances and wellness to see how well their goals were met. This is an important part of the semester for students yet one that’s often not considered. I discussed some of these items in my last blog post which has a handy list parents can follow.

Best way to have this review is the first full day your student is home for winter break. Pull up grades on canvas or blackboard. Talk about the actual grades, GPA and major if he/she has chosen one. If not, talk about if they are close to choosing. If they have a major, this is a good time to talk about if they want to continue with it or make any changes. It’s amazing to me how many students are 100% convinced they know what they want to major in…Freshman year. By sophomore year, they almost all figure out passion, interest or ability is leading them on a different path. Talk about this with them.

Next, please, please please talk about their health and wellness. It’s ok to expect them to eat well, get sleep and work out regularly. It’s ok to expect them to talk with folks at CAPS or work with a therapist/counselor off-campus. There is a mountain of evidence that makes it clear – taking care of our bodies and brains leads to better academic outcomes. I work with several students at the IU Kelley School of Business (For some great stats about Kelley check out this Economist review).  These are hardworking, focused young men and women for sure. But for some reason, they have never learned and adopted the mindset that if they are physically or mentally broken down they can not perform. Nearly ALL of the kids I work with are fighting a cold, getting little sleep and cramming for tests and presentations. I teach them all that if they slow down and act as a steward to their lives, taking care of each life domain (eg. friends, health, academics, etc) they will have great efficiency and efficacy in their school work. Those classic ‘all-nighters’ we all know about just don’t work and the science proves it.

Finally, talk about next semester and what they hope to get accomplished. This doesn’t have to bit a super nitty-gritty goals and objectives talk (We’re not building a rocket here folks). Just a laid back conversation about how they want to dial-up more time with friends, maybe spend a few weekends in Chicago when the weather gets better, maybe talk with a professor or admissions person about switching from Chemistry to Bio as a major. Nothing needs to be decided – just discussed.

It’s also a great idea to talk about money, travel and the non-academic side of next semester. Did your kid have enough money for food and fun this past few weeks? Do they want to get a job and start padding their resume? Maybe it’s time to also start looking at what grad school might require.
Bottom line is don’t let this chill time over break go to waste. Be that curious parent and let your kiddo know you are excited for their time in college but also want to make sure they are asking solid questions and keeping their eye on the prize.