Whether it’s depression, motivation, anxiety or some other obstacle, college students have plenty of reasons why they don’t get help. Some are structural and present very real challenges to help. Other times, students have excuses that are less than compelling. I’ve listed my top ten that I hear from students and parents along with how you can respond.
- I’m Too Busy. If students have time for parties, smoking weed, gaming or sleeping in, they have time to contact a therapist or CAPS (university counseling center). They’re not too busy, they just haven’t prioritized their health.
- Everyone’s Just Overreacting. Parents can definitely overreact sometimes but the cost (time, energy, money) of seeking help even if it’s not absolutely necessary is relatively low. There’s little downside to getting help even if they don’t think things are as bad as others believe.
- Things aren’t Bad Enough. Maybe things aren’t that bad or maybe they’re not bad enough to seek help to make a change. But why wait until things get bad enough? Why wait until things start impacting friendships, classes or other parts of your life? It’s better to spend a little time now to head-off unhealthy patterns, thoughts or feelings before they get too big.
- Worried about Stigma. Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about. The stigma or judgment from others on campus and professionally after graduation can be a very real concern. But consider this – would you rather have judgment from going to a therapist or judgement from missing classes, doing poorly tests, or avoiding parties because of untreated social anxiety? Choose what you want to be judged for.
- Worried Things will Improve. Believe it or not, some college students have felt badly for so long, it’s almost like they’re addicted to feeling depressed or anxious. Sometimes we’re attached to the narrative we have, almost like we’re a permanent victim and we’re not ready to let go. When working with a therapist, they’ll help you rewrite the narrative so that fear of improvement will be replaced with encouragement thinking about the future you want.
- It Costs too Much. Yes, working with a therapist can cost a lot of money and seems like a lousy expense since it’s not like you walk out of the office with a new phone or car. It’s not a cost, it’s an investment. Think about the cost of not getting help. How much does that cost? Being forced to take a another class or an extra semester because of mental health challenges can be way more expensive than therapy.
- Not Sure How to Find Someone. Finding a therapist is a pain and can make you feel demoralized. Start with Psychology Today or Shrink Space (now Welltrack connect) and filter for therapists that have specific expertise in working with college students. You can also ask staff at CAPS for community referrals since they often know the names of competent clinicians close by.
- There’s No Help Available. There is always a shortage of therapists so this is a real challenge. That doesn’t mean college students shouldn’t try. Contact multiple therapists as early in the semester as possible. Leave a detailed message. Complete online application or intake forms if available. These are ways to increase the likelihood of getting on a therapist’s calendar.
- I’m Scared. Fear freezes college students and pushes them to stick with the status quo. Fear is also deceptive. Fear needs to be acknowledged but don’t let it drive choices or behavior.
- I Don’t Know What’s Wrong. You don’t need to know what’s wrong, you just need to know that you don’t feel good and are curious about how to get better. That’s it. College students only need to submit to the process and have faith that a good therapist will help them figure out what exactly is wrong and how you all can improve things.