What is Affluenza?

A social condition arising from the desire to be more wealthy, successful or to keep pace with family, friends and neighbors. Affluenza is symptomatic of a culture that holds up financial success as one of the highest achievements. People said to be affected by affluenza typically find that the very economic success for which they have been striving ends up leaving them feeling unfulfilled and lacking identity. The cycle starts again since acquiring more wealth and belongings can, for a short time, dull the malaise.

Impact on Children and Teens

The incessant pressure to acquire material goods can result in the following:

Inability to delay gratification or tolerate frustration, Trouble maintaining interest in anything requiring effort, False sense of entitlement, Expectation of material goods without responsibility, Loss of future motivation, Life activities don’t seem very real and nothing matters much, Low self esteem, self worth, and loss of self confidence, Approval dependent on possessions and status rather than on personal values, Preoccupation with externals and habituation for more material goods, Difficulty believing people like them for themselves rather than for possessions and status, Inability to trust prevents true friendships, Emotional energy becomes invested in material gains and sensitivity toward others declines. Sound familiar?

Here are The 5 Things Parents Can Do

1. Role Model Boundaries

Let’s start with the basics. If kids and teens see parents Respecting for boundaries, they are more likely to adopt those same perspectives and skills. Our staff encourage parents to talk about things they have to do at work, at home or in the community which they don’t necessarily like but contribute to a bigger picture.

2. Set Boundaries

It’s important to set boundaries with kids and teens early and often. Boundaries are the limits that teach us where we end and others begin. Boundaries teach kids that the center of the universe is not them and that if they want or need something, there are rules we all need to respect. This is the place where kids learn to play nicely with others, develop admiration among teachers and, most importantly, learn to say ‘no‘ to others that may attempt to take advantage of them.

3. Discuss the Value of Money

Parents are weirded-out talking about sex, money, drugs and death yet, if we don’t talk about all of these, the kids are at higher risk for not having a healthy understanding of sexuality, not respecting money, experimenting a bit too much with drugs and being, well, deathly afraid of death. Fonthill staff role model, facilitate and ultimately encourage parents to run regular family meetings (once per month is great) where the family discusses upcoming travel plans, scheduling and financial issues that are appropriate to share with the kids. Not all details are necessary – just general updates like “Hey Kids, give your mother a big hug since she was just promoted. We also are going to cut back a little on how much we spend on iTunes purchases so we can save some money for our next vacation.” It’s also ok to help kids plan upcoming purchases important to them and require they contribute to it. Even if you have gazillions of dollars, having them pitch in helps them feel a part of the family in a way just buying them stuff can’t.

4. Volunteer and Give Back

This takes a bit of time but setting an expectation that the family will volunteer and give back to the community is just another way to have them contribute to something bigger than them. It also exposes them to people and economic struggles which they may not otherwise interact. Some examples of things you can do: Buy groceries and drop off at local food pantry, join litter-pick up group at local park, or volunteer to read to young kids at the library or school.

5. Reward for Behavior

Parents buy lots of stuff for kids and think that as soon as you leave the store, the item belongs to them. Oh, no, no, no. Try this: If your kid accomplishes a task over extended time (ie. Earns a 4.0 over first report card period) your buy something (like a video game). But here is where the power comes in. Rather than giving them the game, they earn time to use the game each weekend (1 hour if they complete all their homework during the week). Here’s what we just did: Exposed them to delayed gratification, rewarded them for behavior rather than just being alive, and reinforced that parents own the home and rewards, not the kids.